Tues Feb 23

Morning Coffee, the smell, the taste, the warmth of the cup in my hands. the memories of mom and dad having their coffee life was so simple then so timeless. All that seemed like it would last forever. I realize now  I will love you both forever and thank you so much for being there and being constant and loving. I only have a few more minutes before I have to go to work. The sun is  coming up or dawn is breaking. A new Day remember Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Murder in the marais

What I am reading nowThe initial installment of a projected series of mysteries set in Paris, this standout first novel introduces dauntless private investigator Aim?e Leduc. The French-American, whose specialty is computer forensics, is confronted with a seemingly mundane task: to decipher an encrypted photograph from the '40s and deliver it to an old woman in the Marais (the historic Jewish quarter of Paris). When Aim?e arrives at the home of Lili Stein to present the photo, however, she finds the woman dead, a swastika carved into her forehead. Thus begins a thrilling, quick-paced chase involving neo-Nazis, corrupt government officials and fierce anti-Semitism. With the help of her partner, Ren?, a computer hacking expert, Aim?e uncovers tantalizing clues relating to German war veteran Hartmuth Griffe, the Jewish girl he saved from Auschwitz, a French trade minister and other enigmatic figures. But the data Aim?e and Ren? come up with only takes them so far. In order to understand the true motive behind the killing, Aim?e must delve into history, confronting older residents of the quarterAwho'd prefer she leave the past aloneAand doing some undercover work. The suspense is high as she fraternizes dangerously with the enemy, even becoming briefly involved with an Aryan supremacist. Black knows Paris well, and in her first-rate debut she deftly combines fascinating anecdotes from the city's war years with classic images of the City of Lights. (July)

Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

I love this series.The Peculiar Crimes Unit (PCU) mystery series by Christopher Fowler is one of a kind. Unapologetically British, one finds elements of Sherlock Holmes, Hercule Poirot, James Bond, “The Avengers” and “Danger Mouse” circulating throughout the books, yet the concept is delightfully unique. The PCU is a division of the London Metropolitan Police Department, which has been in existence for over 60 years. Arthur Bryant and John May, its stalwart, eccentric detectives, have been at the de facto helm for more or less the entire time, riding herd over a group of square but interesting pegs who can’t fit in anywhere else.




In THE VICTORIA VANISHES, middle-aged women are turning up dead in London pubs. The manner of their deaths --- the administration of a painless, extremely quick-acting poison --- is puzzling as well. What is confounding is that Bryant appears to have been the last person to see one of the victims alive, outside of a pub that had been demolished some 80 years previously. He is at a loss. Already coming to doubt the veracity of his observational faculties, he is seriously contemplating retirement. As with so many of their other investigations, the sheer volume of Bryant and May’s case history, and Bryant’s encyclopedic if arcane body of knowledge --- hampered only by his sporadic though temporary memory lapses --- ultimately win the day.



There is a bit of logic to this, given that, in their world, Bryant and May have been investigating cases for over six decades in one location. Elements of past and present cases dovetail, cross over, dip and swirl, and fall back on themselves. But in this book, when the identity of the murderer is revealed and the cad is apprehended, Bryant is not done. There are some unanswered questions that deal not so much with the murderer’s motivation --- that is all too clear --- but with what, or who, wound him up and pointed him toward these particular victims. And what about that vanishing pub?



THE VICTORIA VANISHES is one of those rare books in which the real excitement begins after the murderer is brought to justice. And talk about multiple endings! Fans of the series will be screaming, jumping up and down, unable to believe what they are reading by the time they reach the conclusion. I had to read the ending a couple of times before it sunk in that Fowler indeed was actually carrying out an act that had been hinted at since the beginning of the series. Or is he? That is but one of the many attractions of these novels, which are as delightfully and insidiously addicting as a serotonin supplement.



Fowler makes demands on the reader: the plots are complex, the characters are multi-faceted, and the humor is fast, furious and subtle. This is not a work to be skimmed on the bus, but rather to be read in the quiet of solitude so that every word, sentence and nuance can be fully appreciated alone and within context.

"In “Five Bells and Bladebone” Martha Grimes is at her most suspenseful. In this Richard Jury episode, Grimes clearly establishes herself as one of the best of the genre. In this book, a dismembered corpse is found by Marshall Truebood in an antique desk and naturally alerts Supt. Jury of Scotland Yard, who soon establishes a connection between this body and the murder of a woman by the name of Sadie Driver of Limehouse. Jury--and crew--is off and running. Grimes fans will recognize Jury's “team”--the faithful
Sgt. Wiggins, close friend Melrose Plant, his Aunt Agatha. All provide independent and worthy contributions to the overall book. Grimes' Jury books are all titled after the names of actual pubs, usually in England. This is a series that is riveting, amusing, suspenseful, colorful, and Grimes is a master at the literary allusion. Not a series to be missed
I just finished this book and don't want to forget it.

wed Feb 3rd.

I dreamed about my dad last night about him being dead. Even at 55 after so  many years it haunts me. Looking for answers. Maybe thats why I keep looking at old things and through books looking for stuff maybe I am still looking for answers.  I want to fix this so no one else can read it Maybe I should stop writing in here and just write in a journal. Today is my 12 hour day. But Bob read my journal once. I don't trust him.
My prayer today
Thank you God for that sunrise yesterday it was so beautiful full of pinks and greys. I wished I had a picture but I can see it in my minds eye. I look forward to your gift of today's sunrise. I think of everyday as a gift from God. Thank you for yesterday's gift and all the 55 years of days before that. I love you Lord. I know I fall short. AMEN

Dreams

I dreamed about my Dad dying last night and it was so painful. I woke up feeling sad. I woke up so many times during the night. I don't understand why

Initiation tool

describe how and what you are feeling right now.

I am feeling drawn in 5 directions. Should I get up and go visit should I sit and read should I finish my jewelry should I exercise should I play piano or guitar. Should I clean everything up. I am thinking I finally have time to do all these things and I can't settle on one. Should I go clean out my car. Should I clean out some drawers. Should I write some notes. My mind can't settle on one thing . i am worried about how I am going to buy the farm back. I don't see any way around it though I can't let the middle of the farm be sold but i AM 55 YEARS OLD. My GOSH how CAN i TAKE ON THAT KIND OF DEBT. I JUST THINK I SHOULDN'T BE AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE. i JUST FEEL LIKE ANY MAJOR PROBLEM AND I WILL PANIC. AND GO HYSTERICAL. i HAVE NO ONE TO TURN IT OVER TOO THAT WILL TAKE IT THAT WORRIES ME AND I AM NOT SO WORRIED ABOUT THE CAR PAYMENT NOW. i THINK i CAN MAKE THIS. i HAVE SO MANY UNFINISHED PROJECTS AND THEN i JUST BUY MORE SO MANY UNFINISHED BOOKS AND i BUY MORE BOOKS MORE STUFF RIGHT BE TAKEN DOWN OUTSIDE. NOW THE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS NEED TO BE TAKEN DOWN OUTSIDE, THE HOT TUB IS BROKE. MY YARD LOOKS LIKE A JUNK PILE. NOT WHAT i WANT. THE DOCK IS NOT DONE THE BATHROOM DOWN STAIRS IS NOT DONE THE POND IS NOT DONE NOTHING BOB STARTS IS DONE THE BATHROOM TILE IS BROKE THERE IS NO TILE UNDER THE STOVE. i DON'T GET IT AND THE DOWNSTAIRS IS STARTING TO LOOK LIKE A WORK SHOP I HATE IT I HATE IT. WHERE. AND MY FINANCES ARE SHOT i AM LIVING HAND TO MOUTH WITH NO ONE TO HELP ME IF i DON;T START THINKING OF MYSELF AND MY FUTURE I AM GOING TO BE IN TROUBLE.
BUT i FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT THIS IS THE BEST IT IS To GOING TO GET AND THIS IS GOOD i HAVE A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE I LOVE WONDERFUL KIDS IT IS A MORE OF AND i WANT TO STOP WANTING GREAT LIFE I HAVE NOTHING TO WANT . My mind just jumps from one thing to another but it is very self centered thinking only of myself and my feelings. I need to get outside that . When I go somewhere I find myself wantsing to get home and be by myself. Nuts nuts nuts. stop stop stop.I can't think of any more to write I could write about the decorations on my walls for instance the 4 norman rockewell plates my mom bought me years ago the four seasons I love them I hade lots of norman rockwell stuff in my other home and now bob actually has some in his new house. the plate with the 4h ribbon. I remember seeing and then the painting that my mom had in my child hood home of the flowers I forget what they are calledbut it is one of my prized possessions. ll have dreams about that never seemed clean so crowded. I loved the drawers behind my door in my bedroom that dad made for me. painted different colors.love my dad's bedroom it was done all in dark brown with darkbrown curtains and bed spread the furniture was leather how I wish I still had that furniture. I do have the lamps and the tiger picture which I am going to put in the bathroom today. and the kissing heads. It was deepbrow leather with a noton in the center of each section. s I loved it. perfect condition. Al my mom's stuff was in perfect condition. I never really liked the bathroom between the two bedrooms I think I stii t hung in the living room over the red cough forever. I really don't know the history but I think she had it when they lived in there apartment befor my dad's accideent. Marian bought that red couch it was a great couch mom had it reapolstered sometima and it was iin great shape it was a really good couch. I wonder what happened to all of mariansstuff. I used toI need to clean the frame. on the bottom then the bird clock athat I boought bob for father s day and he didn't ;;ole ot he couldnt't stand the bird sounds but I love it guess I bought it for myself the the curtains that are mad from material I found in my grandfathers basement I love I even have pictures of the curtains hanging in there house. Then the china cabinet that I cbought after my mom dies with the money that I got from the auction. A very smart buy and all the mwonder ful things in it. then the plant that I jsut bought last summer and am doing well keeping it alive. the lamp that I found in my grandpa attic and put the new lamp shad on and andy rewired for me a prized possesion. The little sled table that I bought in crossville that I love and the end tables that were my grandpa that really need some work and the lamps that I believe are painted china they have signatures. all very precious and the red stove that I bugged bob till I got and he put in probably one of the last things he did and he hated every minute of it.